Poultry United

2010-04-07T02:09:00.000-07:00

Blog moved to alenpuaca.com

EURO 2008 roleplaying

2008-06-18T14:39:00.002-07:00

rerun

Inventor

2008-03-12T14:41:00.000-07:00

rerun re: oil barrel way over $100

Quotes II

2008-02-02T10:42:00.000-08:00

What is an elegant woman? An elegant woman is a woman who despises you and who has no hair under her arms!

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

I do not take drugs. I am drugs.
Salvador Dali

(rerun, honoring the approaching Valentine's)

Roadmap

2008-01-25T08:26:00.000-08:00

rerun

Vacation Talks

2008-01-04T23:29:00.000-08:00

rerun

Happy 2007!

2006-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

Sketches 6 - Francois

2006-12-25T17:22:00.000-08:00

Sketches 7 - Vladimir

2006-12-22T17:23:00.000-08:00

Sketches 5 - Poultry base, initial sketches

2006-12-20T17:16:00.000-08:00

Quotes VIII

2006-12-14T22:38:00.000-08:00

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.

Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.

May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't.
General Patton

Sketches 4 - John again

2006-11-30T11:49:00.000-08:00

I am currently busy working on some other projects, so Poultry will "suffer" for a little while. But, for the sake of continuity, I'll post few Poultry sketches in next few weeks.

Sketches 3 - John

2006-11-15T23:00:00.000-08:00

Related to the Fuel Alternative strip.

A day in life of Poultry platoon

2006-11-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

The Poultry United is a peacekeeping platoon whose main mission is to cease or prevent conflicts among birds all around the globe. Their missions include 1978 prevention of the genocide of the pink flamingos that was planned by Fredonnement Rouge, the notorious rebel hummingbirds and dislocation of the 500 000 Transylvanian emus from the captivity of the cold-blooded common sparrows. Those are not easy tasks. They ask for everyday discipline, physical drill, rapid cognition training, flawless lines of communication and attractive chicks. For after hours. Our main protagonists are John, Francois, Hans and Vladimir, but they are not the only ones... So, the day looks something like this.

Every morning, the platoon is awaken by the loud and proud alarm. Francois with his full heart yells liberté, égalité, fraternité, as any proud French rooster would... and gets a hit, right in the eye.
Physical activity is a great way to start the day! Canadian soldier Petite John is skillful with hockey sticks, others with football.

Then, there is a morning inspection. Sargeant John, as a platoon commander, using various physical and mental techniques, works on the moral and the discipline of the unit. He informs the unit of the latest appearances and discount sales of weapons of mass destructions. Then finishes the morning routine with checking if the equipment is up to date and ready for action. The platoon unplugs the ears.

The troops are then off to their regular duty, putting their lives in danger by carefully monitoring sides involved in a conflict from their trenches and bunkers, but only in the halftimes of the Champions League.
John, on the other hand, takes care of more serious things, planning, organizing and playing Risk. Doctor Hans educates poultry of the health dangers, has one on one therapeutic sessions or looks for discount for 6 weeks or longer all inclusive vacations. Vladimir's trying to cure the hangover by shortening or eliminating the pauses between drinks. This all might sound like a dull and boring activity, but some missions are quite dangerous, some soldiers even fall in the line of duty! It is usually Phoenix, though. Does that really count?

In the afternoon, soldiers do their extra curriculum activities. If not drunk, Vladimir invents a revolutionary machine, or two.
Hans and Francois go over interavian current affairs and latest euro jet-set gossips ... Being hit by high gasoline costs, John analyzes energy alternatives or contemplates about changing a career: "A superhero, perhaps?! But only with an early retirement option..."

An evening relaxation takes place in the Liquid Nest, a bar where, after the long day of peacekeeping, involved sides and the peacekeepers sit together for a drink or few. The waitress is long legged ostrich Nora, attractive but shy. John usually throws a few inappropriate comment about her legs, she blushes and sticks her head in the hole. "Nothing worse then a shy waitress!" Vladimir gets nervous. Francois saves the evening again by whispering a few "la amour" phrases to Nora's ear. John, one more time, is not the favorite guy of the night.

Somebody would say, hey, who did they save today? Well, they saved their asses! And if you are a bird that needs to be saved, you better enlist... now.

"Hey, what about us, what about our day?"
Dudes, your day is just too long to write about.

Freaks

2006-10-30T23:27:00.000-08:00

UN birthday

2006-10-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

United Nations Day

Sketches 2 - Hans

2006-10-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

Dilemma

2006-10-23T23:41:00.000-07:00

New Axis

2006-10-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

US politicians have become famous for their passion for the notion of axis. It has become a tradition for each US president to create his own axis of something: axis of evil, axis of cooperation, friendship, etc. The latest axis was created without Washington's participation. The Paris-Berlin-Moscow axis appeared in Europe last week. It can be interpreted as a link of international politics run by three superpowers - Russia, France and Germany. more

"Now is it clear why we need a torture bill?!?"

Torture

2006-10-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

Bush signs torture bill. By signing into law the Military Commissions Act of 2006, Bush has made it legal for the C.I.A. to continue operating torture facilities in undisclosed, foreign countries, and for the writ of habeas corpus to be suspended for individuals who are designated "enemy combatants" against the U.S. Designated by whom? That question remains unanswered. more

Flies

2006-10-16T00:26:00.000-07:00

Sketches 1 - Penguins

2006-10-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be funny to post some of the sketches that I have done during the Poultry production. Sketches usually have an extry funny flavour that is hard to translate into the final clean-up.

North Korea

2006-10-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

A high-ranking officials of the US administration confirmed that North Korea had tested nuclear weapons. The official added that the US government had been warned about the imminent nuclear tests in North Korea. The Pentagon is currently trying to specify the technical description of the nuclear blast, Fox News said. North Korea warned the Chinese government about its intention to test nuclear weapons only 20 minutes before the blast. more

Ozone

2006-10-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

Earth's ozone layer, which protects both humans and plant life from ultraviolet radiation from the sun, appears to be recovering. A study just published by the Cooperative Institute for Research in Environmental Sciences shows declining ozone levels have leveled off from 1996 to 2002, and in some areas there even are small increases. more

Quotes VII

2006-10-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

To be or not to be. That's not really a question.

A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end, but not necessarily in that order.

I don't think you should feel about a movie. You should feel about a woman. You can't kiss a movie.
Jean-Luc Godard

Oktoberfest

2006-10-07T00:16:00.000-07:00

The 173rd Wiesn is over!
The 173rd Oktoberfest has ended, the world famous beer tents closed their doors and the fun rides are already beginning to leave the grounds.
Now hard times for all Oktoberfest fans have to be briged: There are 350 days, 2 hours and 43 minutes left until the 174th Oktoberfest will open its gates... more

Season

2006-10-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

The NHL drops the puck on the 2006-07 regular season on Wednesday and while all 30 teams have dreams of winning the Stanley Cup, only a handful of clubs have a legitimate chance of hoisting Lord Stanley's mug... more

This brings back lovely memories...

Nyet

2006-08-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

"Turning a doughnut into a ball was trivial! Next time I am sober, I'll turn it into a barrel of votka!"
Vladimir

A reclusive Russian won the math world's highest honor Tuesday for solving a problem that has stumped some of the discipline's greatest minds for a century -- but he refused the award.

The Poincare conjecture essentially says that in three dimensions you cannot transform a doughnut shape into a sphere without ripping it, although any shape without a hole can be stretched or shrunk into a sphere. Proving the conjecture -- an exercise in acrobatics with mind-boggling imaginary doughnuts and balls -- is anything but trivial. Colleagues say Perelman's work gives mathematical descriptions of what the universe might look like and promises exciting applications in physics and other fields. more

Pluto

2006-08-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

"Pluto's dead?!? Poor Mickey's gonna have hard time telling the news to Minnie..."
John

Casualties

2006-08-14T17:58:00.000-07:00

Be warned, long scrolling may couse wrist tendonitis and/or severe case of boredom
Word: Boredom Part of Speech: noun Definition: dullness Synonyms: banality, boredom, deadness, doldrums, drabness, dreariness, dullsville, ennui, irksomeness, lifelessness, monotony, routine, sameness, tediousness, tiresomeness, wearisomeness, yawn...

Middle Peace 3

2006-08-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

An Israeli airstrike hit a United Nations post in southern Lebanon late Tuesday... details

Middle Peace 2

2006-07-27T17:12:00.000-07:00

Middle Peace

2006-07-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

“I think the thing that is really difficult is you can’t stop this unless you get this international presence agreed,” Mr. Blair said. “You need to get this done quickly otherwise this thing will spiral out of cont...’’
“See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over,” Mr. Bush said.
NYT

Headbutting

2006-07-12T18:07:00.001-07:00

Winning

2006-07-10T00:56:00.000-07:00

Refs

2006-07-05T17:09:00.000-07:00

Host

2006-07-04T17:59:00.000-07:00

World Cup Special

2006-06-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

"I'd like to go to Germany for the World Cup. If I'm filming, it's bound to be in LA and, as the USA have qualified, I might see it on TV. I'd be gutted if I couldn't follow the matches. Working on film sets in America, it's difficult to catch a screen where somebody got it tuned in. In LA, if you walk into a sports bar, you are going to get baseball, basketball or worse - American football."
Sean Bean, Actor

Best of Poultry, week 5

2006-06-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

Week 5, Best of Poultry, selected by Marko, Canada

Demonstrations

Cartoon

Workaholic

Best of Poultry, week 4

2006-06-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Week 4, Best of Poultry, selected by Alex, England

Demonstrations (for idea)

Inventor (for story)

Avian Flu 3 (for colours)

Best of Poultry, week 3

2006-05-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

Week 3, Best of Poultry, selected by Sandra, Canada

Workacholic

April's Fools

Subconscious

Best of Poultry, week 2

2006-05-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

Week 2, Best of Poultry, selected by Petar, Montenegro

Modern Chicks Fancy

Love for Chicks

Importance of Hi-Tech

Best of Poultry, week 1

2006-05-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

Since I wont be able to draw comics for next couple of weeks, I asked few friends of mine to pick their three favorites among the 48 existing ones. A set of three will be published every week - sort of a recap of all this Poultry chirping. So...

Week 1, Best of Poultry, selected by Aleksandar, Canada

Warning

Winter

Mission 3

Freud

2006-05-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

This year in May we celebrate 150th anniversary of the birth of Sigmund Freud "the father of psychoanalysis". It is well known, according to him, what is THE reason for all the psyhological traumas! That's why I had to bring up, one more time, already published, "Psyhoanalysis".

April's Best

2006-05-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

Tesla

Demonstrations

April's Fools

Not too many comics to choose from in April. However, Marko chose these three and I totally agree.

Gas Prices

2006-05-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

Quotes VI

2006-05-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

"We'll follow terrorists everywhere. Should we catch them in a shithouse, we'll kill them in a shithouse."

"Russia doesn't negotiate with terrorists. It destroys them."
Vladimir Putin

"Nemtsov, what are you doing hanging around doing nothing as usual? Go and get yourself a gun."
Boris Yeltsin

Motherland

2006-05-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

Ping and Pong

2006-05-01T14:24:00.000-07:00

New characters in the Poultry Utd. Read more about Ping and Pong on the Poultry United Characters page.

Warning

2006-04-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

Americans Still Not Highly Concerned About Global Warming
Americans are more convinced than ever that the Earth is being affected by global warming, but they have still not grown especially concerned about it. Only a third predict global warming will pose a serious threat in their lifetimes... more from Gallup poll

Quotes V

2006-04-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”

America is a mistake, admittedly a gigantic mistake, but a mistake nevertheless.

The paranoid is never entirely mistaken.
Sigmund Freud

Tesla

2006-04-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

This year we celebrate 150 years of great Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla's birth.
"Well, Nikola Tesla invented flourescent light. Without him we wouldn't have Alternating Current, radio, television, X-ray technology, induction motors, particle beams, lasers... None of that wouldn't even exist if it were not for him... Tesla was a true genious. If we would've pay more attention to his ideas, the world would be a much better place. We'd have free mass communication, free transportation, free energy for everyone. That's why they discredited him in the end."
Jack, White Stripes from Jim Jarmush's "Coffee and Cigarettes"

Quotes IV

2006-04-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
At the entrance to the old SR-71 base Kadena, Japan

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
U.S. Air Force Manual

"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
USAF Ammo Troop

Thinker

2006-04-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

Quotes III

2006-04-08T09:51:00.000-07:00

"I think, therefore I am."
Descartes

"I über think, therefore I am über"
Hans

"I think?"
John

March's Best

2006-04-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

Inventor

Patty's Day

Alarm

Demonstrations

2006-04-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

April's Fools

2006-04-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

Alternative

2006-03-30T15:25:00.000-08:00

Shortage

2006-03-27T09:35:00.000-08:00

Quotes I

2006-03-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
General Macarthur

Rorschach

2006-03-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

Patty's Day

2006-03-15T23:57:00.000-08:00

Idol

2006-03-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

Avian Oscar 06

2006-03-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

Noir

2006-03-07T18:13:00.000-08:00

Alarm

2006-03-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

Psychoanalysis

2006-03-03T22:04:00.000-08:00

Subconscious

2006-03-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

Skating

2006-02-24T00:03:00.000-08:00

John's Biathlon

2006-02-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

Winter Olympics

2006-02-22T23:59:00.000-08:00

Love for Chicks

2006-02-20T23:52:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Crash Course

2006-02-14T23:06:00.000-08:00

Cartoon

2006-02-08T22:57:00.000-08:00

Mission 3

2006-01-31T20:21:00.000-08:00

Mission 2

2006-01-26T00:22:00.000-08:00

Mission 1

2006-01-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

A Call for Mission

2006-01-18T22:23:00.000-08:00

Winter Absurd

2006-01-14T23:37:00.000-08:00

Vacation Talks 2

2006-01-11T21:59:00.000-08:00

Happy 2006!

2005-12-31T14:09:00.000-08:00

Vacation

2005-12-28T14:05:00.000-08:00

Winter 3

2005-12-25T18:13:00.000-08:00

Winter 2

2005-12-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

Winter 1

2005-12-14T23:04:00.000-08:00

Avian Flu 3

2005-12-13T09:11:00.000-08:00

Avian Flu 2

2005-12-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

Avian Flu 1

2005-12-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

Modern Chicks Fancy

2005-12-03T13:19:00.000-08:00

Thanskgiving

2005-11-30T22:24:00.000-08:00

Celebrities

2005-11-19T17:29:00.000-08:00

Poultier

2005-11-16T23:46:00.000-08:00

Importance of Hi-Tech

2005-11-11T23:05:00.000-08:00

Workaholic

2005-11-09T21:41:00.000-08:00

Pacifist

2005-11-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

Poultry Charter

2005-10-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

1. All avian must obey the Charter (unless they are supermighty)

2. All avian have a full sovereignty of their habitat (if supermighty agrees)

3. All avian must try to settle their differences by peaceful means, must avoid using force or threatening to use force (unless they are supermighty)

4. In case of a conflict, United Poultry platoon will impose and keep peace all around the habitats and develop friendly relations between conflict involved birds

John's simplification of the United Poultry Charter

1. John is always right
2. If John is not right, look at the number 1

Poultry Platoon

2005-10-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

Name: John
A.K.A: Supermighty John
Latin: Leucocephalus Tabula Raza
Rank: Sergeant
Diet: Burgers and soda
Habitat: Vast and proud territories of North America
Behavior: Primarily dominating, physically terminating, despise old eurotrash, red curse and chickens, specially male ones.

Name: Francois
A.K.A: Male chicken
Latin: Gallus hedonicus
Rank: Soldier
Diet: Cheese, wine and... chicks
Habitat: Southwestern Europe
Behavior: Strongly hedonistic, playboy, proud of his history and tradition, avoids violent conflicts, anti-supermighty, shares united habitats with Hans

Name: Hans
A.K.A: Superego
Latin: Überavis
Rank: Doctor... for body and mind
Diet: Wurst and lager
Habitat: Continental and northern Europe
Behavior: Extremely analytical and precise. Convinced that he's the MVP, yet, for some reason, not shouting about it. Sharing the same feeling with Francois about the supermighty, but subconsciously feel deep attraction to it... him.

Name: Vladimir
A.K.A: Spongy
Latin: Bicephalus liquidus
Rank: Soldier
Diet: Vodka and other %s
Habitat: Eastern Europe
Behavior: Magnetic attraction to alcohol, yet, capable of groundbreaking physical and intellectual achievements. When sober. Rarely.

Other Characters

Name: Ping and Pong
A.K.A: "Coldblooded Beasts"
Latin: Pinguis et Ponguis
Diet: Fish and (Smirnoff) Ice ... on rocks
Habitat: Disappearing ice of southern hemisphere
Behaviour: Usually friendly and harmless creatures, but since their motherland has started melting away and they are forced to look for a new habitat, they seek for revenge against the polluters in a quite aggressive and militaristic manner... sort of...

About Poultry blog

2005-10-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

People usually have a lot of ideas buzzing around their head, but if they don't put it on the paper, they just fade away.

Poultry United is one of the ideas I have had for some time now, and for the purpose of NOT abandoning it, I have started this blog, which became a workshop and the playground where I try to work on various things related to Poultry, such as:

Overall concept. What is this whole thing about, who are these birds, where do they come from, what is their relationship and how they, as a metaphor for the real life subjects, behave - related to the worlds current affairs. Observing this world that we live in gives so much inspiration for Poultry! The question is if I wanted to treat Poultry as a simple editorial cartoon or take it further to standalone world that is a reflection of our world? Not sure yet...

Media and format. Since I have decided to work on Poultry for only one evening a week, 3 frames comic strip seemed to be a nice and efficient format to work with. To speed up the things even more, I developed a library of Flash symbols that I use in the production of the comics. I have tried 1 frame comic format as well as "loose" formats, a bit of text, a bit of images. At this point, for a various (brainstorming) reasons, using all this formats seems like a good solution.

Writing. I am not a writer, by vocation or education, and English is my second language :( But, since I am into this, I am trying to learn about screenplay, comedy, character development and eventually trying to apply that knowledge here.

Visuals. I guess, one of the biggest joys of this project. Visually, creating characters, environments (still short of those), props and other elements and putting together these little miniatures in form of comic strip is a pure joy. Often, I come back to a previous strip, change the composition, layout, expressions, touch up the colours or contrast. So, even the strip is already published, it is still work in progress!

Character development. Aside from visuals, developing the characters inside to the point where I know how exactly would they behave in any given situation is the ultimate goal! With all the characters that I have introduced so far, I feel I am on the right track... The short format itself doesn't allow too much complexity in the character development, so there is a bit of limitations there. Another thing, since these birds are personifications of SOME national stereotypes, there is an ever present danger of falling into real stereotypes, which would be yaiiks... so I have to pay attention!

Derived products. Once I have defined characters and situations, and much more time dedicated to Poultry, I would definitely like to transfer them into animation shorts, interactive computer and board games and some other formats.

Interface Design. Blog is a great, simple and free tool for this purpose. Having a database and a front end interface that is so easy to modify is perfect to constant improvements.

Persistence. It is so easy to give up. But, with every new week and every new post, with or without feedback from readers, the Poultry is reinforced and looking and feeling better and better! I still can't say if Poultry United is great for it's jokes, characters or design, but I can say for sure that it is great as a hobby :)))

And of course, keeping it simple really helps!